The reverse side of the bill that hotel staff slid under my door this week pleaded with me to be VERY SATISFIED with my stay. I may be receiving an email satisfaction survey. According to the front office manager, “We ask that if for any reason you do not feel that you are able to rate us a VERY SATISFIED with your Overall Satisfaction that you contact a Guest Services Manager prior to your departure.”

Somebody’s bonus is tied to satisfaction scores.

It’s hard to judge whether or not I was “very satisfied” with the hotel. The check-in went smoothly. The TV worked. The room was comfortable and quiet. The wake-up call came on time. The bed was a little hard for my taste. The price was reasonable. If those are the criteria, I was “very satisfied,” but how satisfied can you be when you’re tired from travelling and away from home and bored? That’s what makes such satisfaction surveys problematic.

On the other hand, if I compare my hotel visit with my airline experience, I would give the hotel a “6” on a 5-point scale. You won’t see an airline begging for a “very satisfied” rating because who in their right mind would be “very satisfied” with flying?

You wait in line to go through security. You practically disrobe (we are very lucky the shoe bomber didn’t decide to line his underwear with explosives) and then have to reassemble on the run while worrying about the effect of gravity on beltless pants. You find your gate and wait. People worried about stowing their multiple carry-ons crowd the podium. Departure is delayed because the flight crew hasn’t arrived or the plane hasn’t arrived or there’s bad weather here or there or whatever. I haven’t gotten home on time the last four times I’ve flown, including once when I ended up sleeping in the airport.

The flights themselves are equally horrible. You’re cramped into a very small space closer to strangers than you usually are to your spouse and then you sit at the gate for a half-hour or on the tarmac for a half-hour or in line for takeoff for a half-hour and you feel your body stiffening up and you’re not even in the air yet. You pray that the book you brought along is good enough to distract you for the next couple hours. When you look up, you imagine how good it will feel to walk again.

The air travel system does a fine job of getting you from Point A to Point B safely and faster than if you went by car, bus, or train, but the system stinks at delivering a satisfactory flying experience. Airlines can demand better customer service from their employees until their wings fall off and it’s not going to matter. We choose airlines based on frequent flier miles, cost, or schedule. We expect flying to be difficult no matter which airline we choose.

I can have the most polite and helpful airline employees at the ticket counter and at the gate and in the air and there’s still no way I would rate my experience as “very satisfied.” The experience sucks! If an airline ever wants its employees to align their bonuses with customer satisfaction, the employees should laugh at the very idea. Everything that makes air travel difficult is beyond their control.

So if I get an email survey from the hotel, I’m going to give it a “very satisfied” rating. It can thank the airlines.

(5 votes, average: 4.80 out of 5)

 Loading ...